Issue 12: I Know You Are But What Am I?
Or: Some Self-Reflection and Photos, mostly in 2024
I have heard many times that the road to hell is paved with good intentions but my own particular highway is instead pockmarked with the potholes of projects, plans, essays, and ideas that life doesn't gift me time enough to finish. The 12th and final essay of my 1st year of this Photos, mostly newsletter was intended to be the 1st of an annual series, a State of the Union of Street Photography. So much has been written of late that we have killed street photography (nonsense), or that street photography must evolve with the times (worth considering), or that a new generation has done so already (debatable, in the most sincere sense). It seemed compelling, and certainly relevant, to pull the many threads together and assess where street photography stands in 2023, then do so towards the end of 2024 and off into the future.
Of course, as my gran would often warn me when I was younger, your eyes are bigger than your stomach, son, and indeed I bit off more than I could chew. With schoolwork, time with my partner, reading, photography, and writing all wrestling for my time, Spider-Man 2 on PS5, for instance, has no chance. I left it too late, then, to give the essay I had planned the time and consideration it deserves. Instead, I will publish an additional issue in November, so my State of the Union of Street Photography will appear 1 week before November's regularly scheduled issue.
This month, in lieu of an essay, I will lay out my goals for Photos, mostly for the next year but before that, I chose to write something a touch more personal.
What Street Photography Has Taught Me About Me
I returned to street photography in what I later discovered was a post-lockdown mental health crisis that shook my life like a snow globe and let the glitter fall as it may. Suffice it to say that leaving music behind to pick up a camera again was a surprise even to me. Nevertheless, it has indelibly drawn the direction of my life since. 3 years have passed and I have shot over 300 rolls of film, learned essential lessons from 2 master street photographers, made some great photographs (and some terrible ones, too) left corporate life, returned to school, and started this newsletter. Though I'm sure therapy played its part, through street photography I now appreciate who I am as a creative person, with a renewed confidence and self-assuredness that was missing in my last days in music. I wonder then what street photography has taught me about myself in the post-pandemic years.
Help the Aged
Approaching my 40s, I had experienced an unconscious, self-inflicted shame of being a middle-aged musician starting again with a new band. Pop culture doesn't look kindly on that trope. The man-child boyfriend of the main character. He’s in a band in his 40s, confident he can still make it. I prayed not to be that guy. Leaving music behind to turn back to photography, which has no evident comparable stigma, I became more comfortable with ageing. I’m still not delighted with the ever-higher hairline, but the grey beginning to pepper my beard is not unwelcome. A pressure valve has been released and the panic of time elapsing has lessened. I felt no flicker of uncertainty and no shame or embarrassment returning to school in my 40s to study photography. In fact, being 44 years old with a student discount has been a delight. Getting older as a photographer certainly doesn't mean finding myself over the hill. As long as I can stay healthy and ambulatory, street photography offers an enduring, satisfying creative practice, one that I adore, for many years to come.
On Mental Health
In my interview with Kathryn Vercillo in her Create Me Free publication, we discussed how both music and photography have affected my mental health and how it influences how and why I create. It's a candid, honest interview about my struggles with mental health and creativity and I am very proud of it. The most crucial lesson street photography has taught me over the last 36 months is that despite passing as an extrovert, I am undeniably introverted and create with much more ease on my own. In the interview, I discussed how through therapy, the pandemic, and beginning to photograph again helped me realise and accept this. For more, I recommend the interview in full.
A Ruthless Editor
Though I learned many things from my time with master street photographers Richard Kalvar and Bruce Gilden, last year; the strongest lesson I took was to photograph more and to be brutal in my edit. Since then, I have become an uncompromising, critical editor of my own work and that of others. I believe that being tough in an edit is what sets a good street photographer apart from the average. I have learned to trust my instinct for what is strong work, and quickly identify bad. I am told, however, that I can be too severe in editing my own work, and photographs good enough for consideration are perhaps unfairly rejected out of hand. In good humour, I dismiss it as perfectionism but I suspect it is a deeper need to keep my imposter syndrome quiet.
To Learn and Improve
A harsh edit results in more than a little critical evaluation of my own work. A successful roll of film may give my rapacious ego a stroke, while a bad day's photography brings the sullen cloud cover of self-doubt and disappointment. Either way, my instinctive response is to question how I might improve the photograph were I to make it again. while relentless critical evaluation of my own mediocre, rejected photographs can be exhausting (give yourself a break, my partner will tell me) I am confident it is the way I best set my current level and strive to further learn and improve. That desire to get a little better, every day, is as greedy as my ego. (Almost, she chimes in, again.)
On Ethics
Something difficult to miss, returning to street photography after over a decade, has been the change in attitudes to the practice both from photographers and readers alike. Ethics are an oft-raised topic of conversation, as is the right to privacy. I often compare my practice in my 40s to that of the impetuous, impulsive street photographer of my 20s. I still advocate and practise candid street photography and, for authenticity, in most circumstances though not all, it is better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. When the intention behind making the photograph is sincere and honest, and it is made with empathy, there is no shame in it. There are circumstances, however, where I have found my awareness and my ethics have shifted. For my younger self, anything was fair game. Now older, wiser, and more aware, I think more about gender and power dynamics, I question my biases and whether I am othering subjects, and I consider the lives of those that I photograph. Regular reevaluation of these things helps to draw a set of moral and ethical lines within which I feel comfortable working, however, I feel that sticking to 1 simple rule keeps me on the right path: Don't be a dick.
Photos, mostly in 2024
The 1st year of Photos, mostly has exceeded any expectations I had when I made what I believed at the time to be a quixotic decision to stop posting on social media and come over to Substack. I brought with me 30-odd subscribers, some photographs, and abundant enthusiasm. 1 year on and I'm close to breaking 500 subscribers, I have had warm, positive, heartfelt encouragement for my writing (particularly after the aforementioned interview with Kathryn Vercillo), and much glowing praise for my photography too. You guys!
While not everyone who subscribes to Photos, mostly is a Substack user I do want to take a moment to give special mention to the side of Substack that I've been fortunate to find myself a part of. It has been a joy to become more involved in Substack Notes and on Chat. I'm tempted to tag everyone that has made an impact on me in these last months but there'd be no room for anything else. Nevertheless, you know who you are, and thank you.
what of the future, then? In 2023, I selected the topics of my essays on the philosophy or practice of street photography month by month. Therein lies the danger of finding myself overwhelmed or fighting a deadline. For the coming year, topics have already been chosen. I'll have a lot of fun researching and writing about street photography through the lenses of play, cultural identity, politics, activism, gender dynamics, social commentary, psychology, and many others. I'm excited to see where it takes us. I will, of course, continue to add a digest of my writing elsewhere, and show more of my photographs.
A surprise of the last year has been the response to my offshoot monthly Dispatches email. I've enjoyed curating photography news, Substack article picks, and my pop-culture recommendations, what I didn't expect was how well-received they would be. Thank you! Dispatches will continue into 2024.
As Photos, mostly has grown I have been encouraged to write more, so often in fact that I have had to remind myself that my priority is photography first, writing after. Nevertheless, though the monthly essays and Dispatches emails will always be free, in the new year I will begin adding content for paid subscribers. I have a list of ideas, collaborations, features, and series that runs to over 3 pages - the problem will be choosing which to publish!
In short, I'm fizzing with excitement for the next year of Photos, mostly and I hope you will all be with me as October 2024 comes to an end.
Thank you so much for all your support!
A Wee Word About Photostack
A few months ago, finding that Substack didn't offer a dedicated Photography category, I took matters into my own hands and created Photostack, a small initiative to build an index of photography accounts on the platform. The Photostack tenet was that a rising tide lifts all boats and by promoting one another, we all reach a wider audience. It began as a simple Note (think Tweet, non-Substack folks) then became an annotated Google Sheet. At the time of writing it is 82 writers strong and growing.
Photostack isn't mine, it belongs to all its members. I'm just the janitor. In the next year, I would like to build this blooming index of photographers and photography writers into something of a community. In the future, I hope to encourage collaboration and cooperation within the group. Maybe published correspondence, certainly highlighting great photography. Maybe collaborative bodies of work, possibly even an annual meet-up. I have many ideas and I'm sure the community has a great number too.
If you are a subscriber to Photos, mostly and haven't explored the wealth of other photography and photography writing available on Substack then Photostack is a great place to start.
Digest, October 2023
2 weeks before the contentious general election in Poland, the people took to the streets of Warsaw in support of democracy.
In the Un/Taken interview series, on Marcel Borgstijn’s Darkrooms Substack, I wrote about a photograph I didn’t take and one that surprised me when I did.
In Shoot It With Film, this month, I wrote about my love of, and the great pleasure one can feel from, photographing dogs in the street.
With some fondness, I reminisced on my time as one half of a Glaswegian mixed-media art collaboration as the naughts came to an end.
In my latest Top 5s article, I build on a recent photography assignment at school and consider what are my favourite examples of album sleeve art.
Some Photos
And Finally…
Stay tuned for the next Dispatches email coming on the 8th of November and the Street Photography State of the Union on the 22nd of November.
I’d be very grateful if you would subscribe to or share Photos, mostly. I am only 29 subscribers from reaching my stretch goal of subscribers for the year, so sharing with 1 or 2 friends who enjoy street photography really will help more than you may think.
If you’re a Substack writer and enjoy this publication, I’d be more than humbled if you would consider recommending Photos, mostly to your subscribers.
This newsletter is free to read, however, this year I left corporate life and returned to school, so if you like what I do, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription or buying me a roll of film. You can do so by clicking here, or by aiming your smartphone camera at the QR code below.
I'm partial to some of that Tri-X 400 if you're asking. Thank you!
Lots to absorb and learn in your State of the Union address Neil. I particularly like your one simple rule. It can be used in any walk of life!
Loss for Words by Jimmie Froehlich on Substack would like to be added to Photostack. Not sure if I have to subscribe to Photos, mostly first. Please advise. Thx.